Running on Empty


                                    

                                                By Neal Lemery

            If I think I am empty, then I am also open.

            I often yearn to fill up the voids, the blank spaces in myself. In that emptiness there is often pain. What is absent is what I hunger for, be it love, contentment, or that elusive sense of wholeness that would make me complete, satisfied.

            I sometimes wonder if I am deeply flawed, defective for all the emptiness inside. I try to fill it up sometimes, overindulging myself with my cravings and addictions. I know those things are not the answer and I will be unsatisfied and hungry still. Yet I’ll ignore those wise observations and thought and look to emotional junk food in my search for satisfaction and fulfillment.

            When I quiet myself and truly listen to my soul, I know what I need, I know what will truly satisfy me and truly fill up all that emptiness, that openness deep inside of me. 

            If I give this work some time, give it some purposeful intention, then in that quietness, I will find what I need and be satisfied. I will become whole, satisfied, spiritually complete.

            This work is my journey, to search out my emptiness, and realize that it is a gift, that I am not empty, I am open. This is honest work. It is an opportunity to truly and genuinely fulfill myself with the inner goodness that I know is available to me. I can find my peace, and turn my emptiness into openness, and work towards my wholeness.

2/24/2021