On the Path of Life


On the Path of Life

It was an ordinary path: pavers on top of coarse sand, a nice basket weave pattern, edged by other, longer stones. The gray stones mirrored the sky, on this cold day, hardly noticeable to most everyone using it on the breaks between classes.

He’d wanted to do something special, and bring some beauty into this utilitarian place, adding his own special touch.

We found some thyme plants in an herb bed. They’d done well this past year, and the little rooted new plants in that tangle of pungent leaves and stems came out of the dirt easily. Today, his idea was happening; it was time to start.

He told me what he wanted, a little plant in each sandy triangle, where the pavers came to the edge of the path.

“Don’t we need more dirt?” he asked.

I didn’t think so. Thyme grew well in harsh conditions, and the roots still had soil attached, the sand along the path wasn’t’ very deep, and was laid on top of the dirt of the old lawn, before it became a path.

“It’s tough stuff, grown from hardy plants which can survive summer heat, drought, and getting stepped on,” I said. “Just like you.”

He grinned and nodded.

We had talked about his life, the chaos before he came here, how he endured fists and drunken rages, his soul battered by neglect and abuse, how he learned to hurt others, and ended up here.

“I’m doing great here,” he told me. “Best place I’ve ever been.”

This is prison, I thought. There’s a tall fence, with barbed wire, not a hundred feet away. Guards roam and surveillance cameras look down on our path, where we’re setting in our little thyme plants, giving them and the young men here a fresh start in what looks like a tough place to grow.

He nodded at me, looking deep into my eyes.

“I know what you’re thinking,” he said. “Me saying prison is the best place I’ve lived.”

“But, you know, this is the first place I’ve felt safe, where I’ve been able to go to school every day, and get some good help on growing up, becoming a man,” he said.

There had been a neighbor, and a kind teacher in his life, people who’d taken an interest in him, feeding him dinner and giving him a couch to spend the night on when things at home got crazier than usual.

“They gave me hope,” he said. “A sense of feeling that I was worth something, that I could change my life, if I wanted to.”

He’d never forgotten them, and the idea that he was, deep down, a good guy, someone who could move ahead and be someone who was decent and kind.

We kept planting the little plants, each of us taking an edge of the path, working our way down to the other end, side by side.

The late winter sun took the chill out of the air, and we paused to take off our sweatshirts. A few drops of sweat ran down our faces, and we laughed about working up a sweat on this February day.

“It feels good to laugh,” he said.

I agreed, telling him I was admiring his project, that we were making the pathway a refuge from the daily routine.

“The rest of the guys, they’ll enjoy the path more,” I said. “They’ll notice the plants and smell the thyme, and they’ll have a moment of beauty in their lives as they walk along here.”

“Yeah,” he said. “I’d thought about that, when I came up with this idea, and ran it by the garden teacher. She thought it was a great idea.”

“Even if the guys don’t say something about the path, it will still be part of their lives, part of their experience here,” he said.

This path, and the beauty he’s creating here, will also be part of his life, I told him. He was making a difference, changing lives, and teaching people about love.

We’d come to the end of the path, and paused, letting our muscles stretch and the sweat on our faces dry. We stood up, looking back, taking in all the new plants, and how the path looked different now, with its new design of green among the pavers, the faint smell of thyme fresh in my nose.

“You are a creator, making this corner of the world just a little better place to live and grow in,” I said.

“Thanks for doing this, for being an artist and brightening up this path for everyone,” I said.

“Thanks for helping out,” he said. “And for being a friend.”
He got quiet, looking down at the path, and the work we’d done this morning.

“It’s everything I’d hoped for,” he said.

—Neal Lemery 2/23/2016

Pronoun Paradox


My young friend invited me to lunch, to meet his family: mom, brother, and sister.

Well, sister had been his brother, but was now transgendering, now his sister. “His” old name was now another name, choosing to go by “P___”.

They shared many family stories and anecdotes, and talked about their lives and the future. They brought me into the family circle, and we laughed and had our serious moments, too.

Mom laughed a lot at this family gathering, joining the two brothers and P_____ telling endearing family stories, many of them involving P____. Throughout the telling, P___ was “he” and “him”, and then “her” and “she”; sometimes “son” and “brother” and sometimes “daughter” and “sister”. P____ added her own parts of the stories, laughing at the jokes and showing her serious self in the serious moments. Whoever was the storyteller easily switched from P____’s old name to her new name and back again.

Along the way, those brain cells of mine apparently in charge of gender labels and pronouns tried to keep track of the stories about P____, and the jumble of him, her, he and she, brother, son, sister, or daughter. My thoughts yearned for some order, some thread of consistency, so I didn’t have to keep going back from the male to the female pronouns, all referring to P____, sometimes called by her previous name, even in the same sentence. Of course, when P____ told her part of the stories, it was the soothing and familiar “I” and “me”. My culturally shaped brain didn’t have to sort through the jumble of all those particular little pronouns and names, new and old.

And, did all that pronoun paradox really matter? This person next to me was funny and charming, being the youngest kid in the family, a teenager with a witty sense of humor and a pleasant, contagious laugh. Just P____, without all the pronouns, me just enjoying this witty and happy person sitting next to me, in all their loving, amusing self, a new friend becoming a part of my expanding world.

–Neal Lemery 2/19/2016

Heather Strang, featured guest blogger


A guest blog from Portland author Heather Strang, author of five books on spirituality and life. She’s a fresh, exciting storyteller, sharing her amazing and inspiring personal journey.

“I want to tell you a story. A story about me. Growing up I knew I wanted to be a writer. I told my mom. She told me that was a terrible idea. I told my teachers, they said I probably wouldn’t make any money doing something like that and should keep it a hobby. At 17, I knew that I loved radio and wanted to be in radio broadcasting. But my religion as a Jehovah’s Witness didn’t “allow” college and again everyone around me agreed it was a terrible idea.

I spent my 20’s trying to live my life like I had been conditioned and programmed to. And I was miserable.

At 28, a health “crisis” woke my ass up and for the past almost 10 years I’ve been on a Spirit-led journey of reclaiming who I really am and living the life that my Soul came here to live.

And because of this, I’m living a truly extraordinary life filled with Magic and richness and connection and joy – far more than I ever knew was available to any one human. And I know I’m only just getting started.

Here’s what I’ve learned: Haters gonna hate (thank you T-Swift). My “job” and your “job” if you so choose is to follow the path that Lights you up the most even when it doesn’t make “sense” and even when everyone around you says it “can’t” be done. Because we came here to show our part of the world that it CAN be done.

Today, after dancing with radio as an interviewee and as the former wife of a radio show host (hello shadow! ;)) I launched my first Internet Radio show.

Today, I ordered the final proof for my 5th book. 5th! Even though one of my high school teachers Mr. Dean and my mom and grandma all told me not to “waste my time”. If only they could see me now.

I write every day. I am in service every day to something greater than me. I live a life that Lights me up.

Thank you for being a witness to this and being in this swirl. If anyone at 12 or at 17 or at 28 would have told me I would be living this life, right here, right now, I would not have believed them. What.A.Ride. Love to you all! Xox

P.S. Here’s a preview of my 5th book, an Oracle called A Life of Magic. I’m so excited to share it with you soon! Xo

-Heather Strang
www.HeatherStrang.com

Heather Strang
http://www.HeatherStrang.com

Your energetic and psychic health needs daily care! Get my free energetic toolkit to allow your physical, mental, emotional and spiritual health to be at an even more aligned level. Enjoy!

And…have you read any of my 4 books yet? Check them out and get inspired today!

“The Quest takes you on a journey deep within, asking you to honor your own guidance above all else and reminds us that when we follow Spirit and work with the laws of the Universe miracles abound. A must-read for any Spirit Junkie on the path!” —Gabrielle Bernstein, New York Times bestselling author of Miracles Now

Love Tour


by Karen Keltz, author of Sally Jo Survives Sixth Grade, and an award winning poet. Read more about her at Karen Keltz’s website and blog

THE LOVE TOUR

January is a most depressing month, and February follows right on its heels. Here on the coast everything is dripping wet, soggy and marshlike. The prominent color of the sky is some variation of Payne’s gray, from “dark ominous” to “continual dusk” to “shiny steel.”

Lest you think growing things are all dead, though, when you see brown, slime, and mold, I’m here to tell you plenty is going on underneath the leaves, twigs, branches and mulch.

The same is true if you are also a writer. You sit at your desk, uninspired, staring at the rain pouring past your window, pummeling your roof. You rail at the Muse for playing hide and seek. Your story refuses to go forward. And yet, things are also happening there, down in your subconscious, which will begin to make connections.

Even if it’s spitting rain, I suggest you take a hopeful walk around your garden. What you see will rev up your creative brain. Make what I call the Love Tour.

Today, I asked myself, “What can I see that I love?” I started out from the front door, where our porch is decorated with primroses my husband bought at the store, with the joy of their color in mind. We love seeing them every time we go in or out of our home. We didn’t grow them, but I think they count anyway.

–I thought about how others choose to do good deeds with our happiness in mind or how we choose to do the same. The why of that decision-making and subsequent action makes an excellent essay topic Why do the characters in your story do what they do?

Next, I noticed all the nubbins—bulbs arising in either sidewalk bed. Some early daffodils are ready to bloom, but the later bulbs are slowly undressing. Besides daffodils, I saw the arms of narcissus, crocus, snowbells, hyacinth, muscari, tulips and Scilla siberica, all reaching for the light.

–We humans know what is worth reaching for, what really matters in our lives, if we are in touch with our souls. What does your character truly desire or does that change from beginning to end of your story?

Around the corner, two clumps of heather are in bloom. I love the happy pinks. If I clip some stems, they fit perfectly in a teeny blue glass vase and will dry and retain their color for a couple of months on a counter or table.

Some yarrow is greening, promising its work as a bouquet filler and a medicinal in herbal concoctions. The rose campion and foxglove rosettes haven’t frozen and neither has the hollyhock, which means we may have their colorful blooms earlier than usual. I love that!

The rosemary is green and blooming. I squeeze and rub the leaves and smell my hand. Heavenly!

Green ferns are out of the ground. So is the German chamomile. More green.

–There are moments for all of us where right and beautiful things are present to fill our hearts and make us glad to be alive. Often they stand out starkly in the ugliest of times. What are those moments for your characters?

The red-twigged dogwood pops color where there are no blooms. I saw buds on the lilacs, forsythia, flowering quince, and pussy willow. I love seeing their promise!

–What gives your characters hope during their bleakest hours?

Without leaves blocking the view, I noticed the structural elements I put in place last summer, such as the graveled patio space I dug and laid for the red table and chairs, and the paving stone foundation for the red bench. I love that it’s all ready when the time comes. I also made a list of the places that need work and the pruning that needs done as soon as the weather is more forgiving, because right now they are more noticeable.

–Same with writing. You’ve made your storyboard or outline, the structure that keeps a reader turning the page. When you’ve finished filling it with specific details, then you begin anew to prune what doesn’t work and enhance what does.

After my circuit of our house through the flower beds, looking for things I love, I reached my front porch in a much happier frame of mind, grateful for nature and my connection to it.

Something special for my eyes translates by comparison into new story ideas or character motivations, or whatever I need to make my work move forward. I’ve given my brain a treat, and if I’ve paid attention and asked myself the right questions, my brain will reciprocate.

We can’t always get away to sunnier climes, but we can always take ten minutes out of our day to make the Love Tour. I recommend it.

Being Civil


I wear a number of hats in my community, and I’m involved in a number of issues for which I have a great deal of interest and passion. My resume could be rather lengthy, but then, most people I know around town also take on a variety of tasks and roles, and have a treasure chest full of talents and experience. And, I’m certainly not the only one who can get stirred up about a subject.

My most important job title is “Citizen”. And we need to respect each other, and honor our fellow citizens for their vital role in our social fabric.

We don’t always agree, but we do keep talking with each other. We have lively, often passionate discussions and conversations about “hot topics” and how we can marshall our collective resources and move forward.

I suppose that’s politics, but it is politics in the good sense. We put our passions and our viewpoints out on the table, so we can have rich discussions, and so we can come together and find solutions, and implement them.

Sometimes, our conversations are heated and involved, but that is because we care. We care about each other, we care about our community, and we care to take the time and energy to make our community a stronger, more effective place to live our lives and invest in our future together.

I’ve learned to respect other people’s viewpoints. They have had different experiences, different backgrounds, different thoughts and opinions. Those differences are resources, assets for all of us to treasure and respect. We need all the tools we can find to take on our community’s problems and to move ahead.

In those conversations, those disagreements, we have the opportunity to explore the full extent of our problems and our solutions. Disagreements are really resources, and differing viewpoints give us the opportunity to examine our own views and our own solutions. By listening to others, respecting their views, and by working towards a consensus, or at least a collective decision based on compromise and fully explored views, we make better decisions.

Our diversity is one of our strengths and one of our best tools to build a better community and a better country.

I want people to not stir the political cauldrons, yelling about our differences, or crank up the volume of heated arguments. Nor do I want to applaud the cleverness of someone’s political rhetoric, or the depth of sarcasm and vitriolic speech.

Let’s tone it down, and be civil with each other.

“Civility means a great deal more than just being nice to one another. It is complex and encompasses learning how to connect successfully and live well with others, developing thoughtfulness, and fostering effective self-expression and communication. Civility includes courtesy, politeness, mutual respect, fairness, good manners, as well as a matter of good health.”

– Pier Massimo Forni, Professor, Johns Hopkins University, who chairs their Civility Project (http://krieger.jhu.edu)

Wise words from the National Institute for Civil Discourse, at the University of Arizona, Tucson. (http://projectcivildiscourse.org) :

“Lately, there’s been a lot of talk about the need for community leaders and elected officials to tone down the divisive and polarizing dialogue that seems to typify discussion about difficult community and political issues. But what is it that average, ordinary people can do to help heal our community and restore our sense of cohesiveness and solidarity in order to take on our common ground issues and concerns? We’d like to suggest the following as a starting point for measuring our individual impact on restoring Arizona’s “Civil Culture.” Feel free to add to this list!

1. 1. Be an active part of the community you live in!

o Do you know your neighbors? If not, go meet them! Make food to share and use it as an occasion to go door to door to meet new neighbors or your closest neighbors that you may not have met.

o If you are eligible, register to vote, inform yourself about local issues and vote in local, state and national elections. Attend public meetings and read up on the issues to make informed decisions.

o Get to know who your elected officials are and how to contact them to inform them of your views.

2. Volunteer / Serve others

o There are innumerable community organizations looking for regular or occasional volunteers.

Investigate ways to involve your whole family in regular volunteer activities that speak to an interest or concern that you all share.

o Make yourself available (within reason) to assist friends and neighbors in need.

3. . Make sure future grown¬ups are part of the solution

o If you’re a parent, talk to your children about respecting others with differences of opinion, and lead by example. Involve them in discussing ways to deal with conflict and disagreement in constructive, bridge -building ways.

o If you don’t have children, get involved with mentoring programs to provide support to young people who may not have good adult role models in their lives.

4. 4. Don’t take yourself so seriously

o When someone disagrees with you, don’t take it personally. Refuse to allow the disagreement to escalate into an exchange of personal attacks. Ask questions to really try to understand where the other person is coming from, and show them that while you may not agree with them, you are interested in understanding their point of view.

o If you’re having a bad day, consciously make an effort not to take it out on others.

5. . Broaden your horizons
Learn about, or get involved with, people that are not like you. Seek out cultural activities or performances that you’ve not experienced before; read about or take a class on another culture, religion, political ideology, interest, etc.”

Developed March 08, 2011 by Maricopa Community Colleges Center for Civic Participation for Project Civil Discourse * projectcivildiscourse.org

— Neal Lemery 2/1/2016